Lights out

Today was independence day for my five year old. Independence Day is when all the kindergarteners must walk into school by themselves instead of being escorted by a parent. As I pulled into the “kiss and go” line, PJ, my doppelganger son, said he didn’t want to do it. I told him he had to. So I gave him the requisite morning breath mint that he demands each morning, hugged him, and off he went. He looked back at me several times. It was the saddest little face I have ever seen. For some reason, it made me go back to 1984.

Mom and I were living in Phoenix, grandma was living in NY. My mother was notified that Grandma had a stroke. My mother worked as a domestic and she did the best she could. We didn’t have a phone. I remember we walked to make the collect call to Uncle KD and he delivered the news to Mom. She had been deathly afraid to fly but she bought a plane ticket for herself, left me in the care of my cousin Bobby, and she went to NY. Things would never be the same after that trip.

When she returned, she couldn’t catch up on her bills because she used the bill money for the plane ticket. We moved in with Bobby. I remember some hippy-types next door and their electricity was turned off so Bobby shared his electricity with them. Then Bobby’s was turned off and they shared with us. Mom never recovered financially. I remembered playing Prince’s “Last night, I spent another lonely, lonely Christmas” to get me through the holidays. Shortly after, Grandma died.

We went to NY for what was supposed to be the funeral, supposed to be temporary. We never returned. Three months after Grandma died, I found myself in Farmville, NC hating life. Twenty-four years later, I’m still in NC, but now in Greenville. My mother is not the same since Grandma died. Gone is her fear of flying because she said the worst thing that could possibly happen to her, the loss of her beloved mother, had already happened. When I look back at that time I imagine that my face looked just like PJ’s forlorn face this morning. 

I have a soft spot for hippies and outcasts and for people who are so poor that they have to “share” electricity. God bless us all.

Peace, be multiplied…

From Faith to Food

OK so this is a radical change of pace. I have wanted to blog about it ever since I left the Tarheel state but since the birthday girls is a Facebook friend, I was afraid she would see it and be tipped off. This weekend is my Aunt Mary's 60th birthday. I am her namesake. Aunt Mary lives in the big apple but her daughter Sandy decided to throw her a surprise birthday party in Hotlanta because her sister, my Aunt Bertha, has become a Georgia Peach.

Anyway, after staying at two wonderful hotels - yes, I stopped in Columbia, SC and stayed at the Holiday Inn Express at Exit 80, it was wonderful! Hotel #2's concierge in Atl recommended a restaurant called Dreamland. This particular restaurant had been featured on the Food Network and serves the type of foods that keeps the people in the dirty south voluptuous, to put it mildly. So, if you are ever in Atlanta and not watching your caloric intake, Dreamland is a must-eat.

I'll be back to applying the concepts from Fearless to my life when I return home with my two busy boys.

In what we Trust?

I am a new Thomas Nelson Book Review Blogger. I have been preparing for my review of Max Lucado’s Fearless, which is great because I am such a huge Max Lucado fan. But yes, I can be an objective reviewer. There it was over and over again as I made notes for my review. Trust Him. Trust God. Trust Christ. I  have been examining my fears but realize greater thought should be given to trust. Some people trust money. Other people rely on their intellect. Most people trust what is tangible. All of the people in Max’s book had fear but were victorius because they knew what to do with their fear. It’s not about what you are afraid of. It is about who you trust.

All for Naught

So they arrived and returned safely without me having to be there to boss my husband’s driving. And no, not one phone call to let me know they got there safely. All of my requests were not honored. They all claimed they forgot but I think they were probably having too much fun. They went to see their beloved Pop-pop and then went out for pizza. Someone defined fear with the acronym false experiences appearing real. That sums up my worries.

I think that if I got nothing else from Max Lucado’s book is to fear less and to trust more. Easier said than done but the battle begins with the mind. In Max Lucado’s “In the Eye of the Storm,” he said to pray twice as much as you fret and that when you can’t trace God’s hand, trust his heart. As I look at Fearless, I think that beyond truly trusting,  I must become a master of casting my cares or throwing them on God instead of worrying.

Fear less

Trust more

Pray more

Too Long

I am embarrassed at how long it has been since I have posted to this blog. Life was crazy and busy at the same time. Max Lucado forced me to post. Well, not him personally but his book, "Fearless." One chapter is called "My Child is In Danger" and I realized how guilty I was of that fear. My husband said he was going to take my two sons to see his ailing father. Somehow, the 45 minute drive seemed wrought with drunk drivers, my husband's perceived careless driving that needed my wise intervention (yeah, right) and other dangers. I demanded that my husband call me when he got there. Then ordered my five year old to make sure Daddy calls when he got there. Then told my two year old to make sure Daddy calls when he gets there. I hugged them like they were leaving for Iraq. My heart began to palpitate and realized that I was gripped in fear. Then I recalled how this entire week, month, really if I am honest I feared losing my job because of announcements of a merger and possible reduction in force. I could catalog the fears like a Monk episode: needles, bugs, spiders, anything crawling that I didn't give birth to, etc. Lions, tigers, and bears, oh my! I will be posting a review in the future, as soon as I finish the book. In the interim, the book is worth checking out and the blog is worth checking back in to see whether it made a difference in my life.

My week

My mother had another car accident. That’s two in one month.

My 5-year old had six fillings.

My baby was diagnosed with leg length discrepancy.

My father-in-law is admitted to the hospital.

My job laid off roughly 10% of staff.

I struggle with sickness and fatigue.

$1700 out of pocket.

I’m drained.

My wallet is drained.

Isaiah 41:10 says “I will strengthen you and help you…”, well, it is that strength I will need and the generosity of people to meet my goal for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and to get me through this time.

It’s been a long while

I shouldna left you

Without a dope blog

To step to, to step to

Okay so it doesn’t quite sound the same as the original but the point is still the same. I have been so busy but now have a brief moment to breath. In…out…

Breathing over, time to work on the fundraiser. I will be hosting PJ’s Polar Express Party to raise funds for LLS.

I’m in a tense moment because it looks like they will be scheduling my mother’s surgery close to if not during the marathon week.

Barack Obama – please do something about the uninsured and about health care!!! Fix it please.

Love and peace from a woman who is not city slick nor country greasy,

MVP